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Tending to your child's self esteem during and after divorce

If you and your spouse have recently concluded that divorce is the healthiest option for your family, you are both likely concerned about what this transition will mean for your children. Certainly, numerous studies have concluded that divorce is often better for children than continuing to expose them to unhealthy married life. However, it is both reasonable and prudent to expect that your children will have some challenging growing pains while adjusting to your divorce.

As a result, it is important to think about all aspects of your children's personalities, circumstances and needs when constructing a parenting plan. By examining your children's situation holistically, you and your spouse can place yourselves in the best possible position to support your children's best interests moving forward. 

Your child's needs

One of the most important ways you can support any child's self esteem is to pay them loving, focused attention. In the wake of your decision to divorce, your child may exhibit signs of craving your attention or your child may opt to keep you at arm's-length. No matter how your child is behaving, it is up to you to set the clear messages that he or she is loved, valued, appreciated and that you want to be as involved in his or her life as possible. Even if your child resists this approach initially, he or she will almost certainly take comfort and strength in it subconsciously.

In addition, it is generally a good idea to construct your parenting plan with great care. Each decision you and your child's other parent make on your child's behalf will impact his or her future. With an experienced attorney's assistance, you can help to ensure that your parenting plan will foster your child's wellbeing rather than diminish it.

Role modeling

It is also important to focus on your position as a role model for your child. Your child is obviously impacted by your relationship with him or her. However, your child is also immeasurably impacted by your role modeling. If you are doing your best to live a happy, healthy life, your child will be positively impacted by your efforts.

It is vital to invest in your relationship with your child during and post-divorce. But it is also vital that you invest in yourself during this time period as well. 

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Bebout, Potere, Cox & Bennion, P.C.
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Rochester, MI 48307

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