Many Michigan couples decide they no longer want to be married every day. But that doesn't mean they all want to fight it out in court. If avoiding conflict, animosity, or even legal fees, is a priority for you, you may wonder if you can get an out-of-court divorce in Michigan. While you may not be able to stay away entirely, there are several things you can do to keep your court appearances to a minimum.

Can You Get Divorced in Michigan Without Going to Court?

The short answer is no you cannot get an entirely out-of-court divorce in Michigan. That's because, under Michigan law, only a judge can end a legal marriage relationship. To do that, a Michigan Family Court Judge must take at least a small amount of testimony to ensure that he or she has “jurisdiction” (authority) to hear the case and make decisions about the people and property involved. Michigan family lawyers often call this “taking proofs” at a “pro confesso hearing.”

The “pro confesso hearing” is nothing to be afraid of. It often takes as little as ten minutes, in which the judge or your attorney will ask very basic questions like:

• Where do the parties live?
• How long have they lived there?
• Has there been “a breakdown of the marriage relationship such that the objects of matrimony cannot be preserved” (in other words, do you really want a divorce)
• Would you get back together with your spouse if the divorce was denied?
• Does the Judgment account for all your children? (This will include asking whether the wife is pregnant.)
• If the parties agreed to a settlement
• Whether both parties understand and agree to the key terms of that settlement
• Whether the settlement was fair and equitable
• If there are children involved, whether the custody and parenting time provisions are in the children's best interests.

Once these “proofs” have been preserved, the Court will generally find it has jurisdiction to enter the judgment. If your marriage is uncontested, that may be the only time you have to attend court.

Why Staying Out of Court (as Much as You Can) is Better for Your Divorce

Even though every divorce judgment must be entered by a judge, you aren't at the judge's mercy in deciding your future. In fact, most Michigan divorce attorneys will tell you that a reaching a settlement is almost always better than going to trial.

Parties in a divorce action can agree to a lot of different things, even some things like paying for children's college expenses or entering a non-modifiable spousal support order that Michigan judges simply don't have the authority to do. Reaching a settlement increases your options, giving you more control over your future. In addition, divorce trials can be long, time consuming, and expensive. By resolving issues out of court (even partially) you can reduce the cost of your divorce and often get the case resolved faster than if you went to trial.

This is especially important if you have children with your spouse or want to stay on good terms after the divorce is over. Trial is an adversarial, us-vs-them process that can bring out the worst in people. Staying out of court can lower the temperature of your case and make it easier to work together after it is over.

Out-of-Court Divorce Options to Reduce or Avoid Litigation

If you want to get a divorce without spending a lot of time in court, there are things you can do to streamline the process and reach a resolution without going before the judge. This includes:

Freely Exchange Information

One reason many couples keep going to court during divorce litigation is “discovery.” If one or both parties is obstructing the flow of information, it can get expensive for everyone. Freely exchange financial information and provide documents requested promptly to reduce or avoid unnecessary hearings.

Negotiate a Settlement

You and your attorney can prepare a settlement offer suggesting a solution to some or all the issues to reduce litigation and start the process toward resolution. You can even do this before the divorce begins in the form of a separation agreement. Don't expect your spouse to accept everything you put forward. Instead, expect negotiations to go back and forth as you work out the details. Be open to counter-offers and try to avoid getting defensive as you consider alternatives.

Make Mediation Meaningful

Most Michigan courts require the parties to attend mediation prior to trial. Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process where a neutral facilitator assists the parties and their attorneys to resolve issues in the case and, ideally, reach a settlement they are both willing to abide by. But mediation only works if both sides want it to. Make mediation meaningful by committing to make a good-faith effort to resolve your dispute.

Opt for Arbitration

In some cases, the Court itself may create an obstacle to resolving your case. You may prefer to have your case decided by someone with experience on a specific issue (such as the division of business interests), or whose schedule allows your case to be resolved more quickly. In those cases, you may want to use private arbitration in place of a trial. Arbitration has significant limitations, especially if you disagree with the arbitrator's decision, but it can get your case resolved out-of-court and avoid going to trial.

Get a (Mostly) Out-of-Court Divorce With Help from a Michigan Family Lawyer

Michigan judges may have to put their signature on your Judgment of Divorce, but that doesn't mean there aren't ways you can resolve your case out-of-court and avoid going to trial. At Bebout, Potere, Cox & Bennion, P.C., we care about you and your family. We help individuals and families in Rochester Hills, Rochester, Troy, Lake Orion, Oxford, Oakland County, Macomb County and throughout Southeast Michigan resolve their divorce issues and reach binding settlements to keep them out of court. Call us at 248-651-4114 or contact us here to speak to an attorney.