It may not feel like it, but summer vacation is right around the corner. Family vacations, holidays, and different schedules can all put wrinkles into an otherwise smooth coparenting situation. Start planning your kids' summer parenting time now to give you and your coparent plenty of time to work out your differences and avoid any unwanted surprises.
Check Your Custody and Parenting Time Order
Any time you have questions about your children's visitation schedule, your first step should be to review most recent custody and parenting time order entered by the Judge. In many cases, summer and holiday parenting time will be controlled by the Friend of the Court's schedule or handbook, so be sure you look at those documents as well. Together, they should give you guidance about when your kids will be with each parent during summer break.
Many parents' custody orders allow for a degree of flexibility around their kids' summer parenting time. You may be entitled to two or three uninterrupted weeks of vacation time, or alternating holidays, for example. In those cases, your order may contain specific dates (often in May) for each party to claim their respective vacation periods or may alternate which parent has first pick every other year. Be sure to follow these schedules. If you think there is going to be a problem, you may want to also send a copy of your request for summer parenting time to the Friend of the Court or your Michigan family law attorney, so they can help you resolve any disputes in selecting your dates.
Childcare Considerations for Your Kids' Summer Parenting Time
One frequent issue during kids' summer parenting time is that the children's school may be on break, but the parents' employment isn't. If you will need to work while your children are with you, be ready to make age-appropriate arrangements for their supervision and care. The fact that you must work is not generally a reason to withhold parenting time, as long as you have taken appropriate steps to arrange childcare.
In rare cases, the other party may have a “right of first refusal” in your custody order. This provision says that before a parent can use childcare in specific circumstances (such as overnight or during work travel), he or she must offer that time to the other parent first. These provisions are less common now than they used to be, but if your order includes one, be sure to follow the Court's instructions.
Avoid Making Plans and Promises with Your Children That You Can't Keep
As a parent, the last thing you want to do is disappoint your children. Unfortunately, if your custody is controlled by a court order, there's a good chance you won't have complete control over what happens during your kids' summer break. Because of this, you should avoid making plans and promises to your kids before you know exactly what the schedule will look like for a given year. This may include:
- Participating in sports training or practices
- Attending sleep-away camps for band or sports
- Signing up for summer camps or scouting activities
- Attend birthday or graduation parties
- Take trips or visit local amusement parks
It's not that your kids can't do these things during your parenting time. However, if you are uncertain about dates, you could accidentally make a commitment during your coparent's time with the children. Forcing your coparent to break a promise you made will only disappoint your children and make them less able to trust your word in the future. It is better to say that “we'll see” or “let me talk to your mother/father” rather than making a commitment you can't keep.
Communicate with Coparents Early to Coordinate Summer Parenting Time
Once you tell your kids you will talk to their other parent, you need to keep that promise, too. Effectively planning your kids' summer parenting time depends on open communication between you and your former partner. This can be challenging if animosity is high or you have had a history of communication issues. However, putting things off will only increase the chances that you will not get what you want.
Communicate your preferences for summer parenting time early – as soon as you know them. If you have a special event that overlaps with your coparent's scheduled time, be respectful and ask if they are willing to make a trade. Explain why the date is important to you and understand they may have plans too. Don't demand more time. Instead, try to make as even a trade as possible. Try to avoid making your children pick between activities with their parents. Instead, make decisions between yourselves as adults, keeping your children's preferences and interests in mind.
Resolving Summer Parenting Time Disputes
It is best to resolve issues related to your kids' summer parenting time out of court. You have the right to file a motion to enforce, clarify, or modify the holiday and summer parenting time provisions in your custody order. And there are times that doing so is the right choice. However, practically speaking, this should be a last resort, since court schedules and procedures may mean that the summer will be mostly over before you get a final decision. Because of the short-term nature of summer parenting time disputes, mediation or attorney-assisted negotiation are often better options. They help you separate the issue from the emotions that come with being told no by someone you used to care about, so you can put your children's best interests first.
Get Help Planning Your Kids' Summer Parenting Time from a Michigan Family Lawyer
At Bebout, Potere, Cox & Bennion, P.C., we care about you and your family. We help individuals and families in Rochester Hills, Rochester, Troy, Lake Orion, Oxford, Oakland County, Macomb County and throughout Southeast Michigan. We want to help you and your kids have the best summer you can, and will help you negotiate a summer parenting time schedule that keeps your children's best interests at its center. Call us at 248-651-4114 or contact us here to speak to an attorney.
